The 39th poem from BE.aGaIN is Instinct.
“Everything will be ok”, “these things happen”, “everything happens for a reason”, etc. are all truisms generally found in one a day wellness books or positive affirmations posted on Instagram. “All things shall pass” could be added to that list.
They are truisms for a reason, in that, in general, that is what they are-true.
However, the very mind of a person in need of being told them, is generally sailing their ship through seriously stormy seas and this is all that they can focus on and hear-the waves crashing over their bow.
I was that sailor.
This poem was written in a house that was as quiet and empty as my mind was noisy and cluttered. Full of negative intrusive thoughts and not much else.
“Instinct will tell you to get up in the morning”.
For many, getting out of bed each day is an achievement-I could never truly understand this way of thinking until I experienced it myself.Then when you did greet the day, having pulled back the sheets and the curtains, your first call would be stimulants or ritual or both.Mine wasn’t very rock and roll-It was way too much coffee and way too many cigarettes.
“Your second cigarette in five minutes”- I tried to give a clear visual of anxiety or ritual ,some manifestation of a malaise in the mind. This was also true-I would stand at the back door every morning and sometimes in the middle of the night until the nicotine hit or the hand to mouth movement had been satisfied.
When you do this for a long enough period of time, you will end up with smoker’s finger-also not very cool and if that is all you will end up ,with you will be lucky. A browny yellowy tobacco stain on your skin that “won’t wash off” was a nice physical way of conversing with the previously mentioned well meaning mantras.
This blog was built to share a poet’s thoughts about how they constructed their work for each piece and why each piece was written ,but if any of the above is helpful to any reader ,then I am happy. These things do pass. This is no longer my daily routine and the world of “Instinct” thankfully seems to exist a million years ago.
If you suffer from anxiety, if something has happened in your life that was completely outside of your control, if you have consistently low mood or have developed self-destructive habits and it’s starting to affect your daily life,
Get help-it works.
Algo.
Algo Poetry-Behind the Lines 